Now, this may seem like a simple question and you're probably thinking: “My best friend of course." This doesn't necessarily need to be the case or even the best decision. So, to ensure that you have the best hen party and pillar of support (aka chief bridesmaid) here are 5 Tips On How to Choose Your Chief Bridesmaid!
1) Assess Your Friend's Strengths and Weaknesses
This is an important and often overlooked step in the bridesmaid selection process. Just because your friend X is a good laugh, it doesn’t mean she’s a great party planner. Similarly, Y might be super-organised and an obsessive perfectionist, but she might not be able to let her hair down during the party. So take your time and think about who’ll be best for the job. Ideally, you want a chief bridesmaid who is supportive, fun, trustworthy and organised.
2) Make Sure They Actually Want to Be Chief Bridesmaid
This may seem obvious but just because they’re your best friend, that doesn’t automatically mean that they want to be your number one gal at the wedding So make sure you actually ask them if they’d like the honour and not just assume. That way you’ll avoid potential awkward disappointment in case she declines (yes, this does happen).
3) Avoid the 'Family Trap'
Family is grand but don't let them bully you into choosing a family member if it's not what you want. Family rivalry and bickering can ruin the build-up to a big day. So unless you and your sister, cousin or aunt are close and can spend more than two days together without bursting into an argument, then don't feel like you're obliged to choose a family member - even if it's what your folks want.
4) Make It Clear What Is Required Of Them
You know this makes sense, especially if the friend in question has never been a chief bridesmaid before. Give her an idea of what you’d like her to get involved with. If you’d like her to be really involved - let her know. If you only want her to help out with little things - let her know. Obviously, she’s going to have to organise a hen party for you, but aside from that, it’s only polite to warn her that you may need her to potentially camp out in front of Selfridges the night before the sale. Just so you can get those ivory peep toes you’ve had your eye on.
5) Make Sure They Have Your Best Interests at Heart
It’s your wedding, not hers. This may seem obvious to start with but believe me, once the two of you start sampling menus and trying on tiaras you may have some serious differing of opinions. Some chief bridesmaids become possessed by the “bride demon” and once possessed, these women can become a pain. Some even start enforcing their opinions and preferences onto you (whilst completely disregarding yours). So make sure you stand your ground and if she starts acting like a Bridezilla, remind her whose big day it really is.
Last but not least...
If you follow these steps and use your own intuition then we're sure you’ll make the right decision. However, if it does end up going wrong and you do want to strangle your chief bridesmaid, then there’s no harm in calmly telling her that - for the sake of your friendship - that you should designate the role to someone else. Besides if she really is your friend she’ll understand. Some people just aren't cut out for the pressure and there's nothing wrong with that!